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- He is mad. Not like, Malkavian mad, but like, off-his-rocker, butter side down, bonkers. He taught Dementate to a goose! Dementate. To a goose!
- His goose familiar Gooston is an international goose of mystery.
- He is not really a Malkavian. That is why he acts the way he does. It is all a distraction to hide his real Clan.
- "Did I ever tell you about the time I infiltrated Were-Shark Island?" - Nicholas Locke
- "Did I ever tell you about the time my beloved Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great grandsire went to Carthage and was all like 'Shaka, and the walls fell'? - Nicholas Locke
- "I have a ghost sword!" - Nicholas Locke
- F Note: The Sword's name is Belvidere. Sir Belvidere. Servin' the TEA that deserves to be cut!
- "I know you are here, Gooston, you big fucking nerd! Where's my goddamn money!" - Nicholas Locke
- "I will trade you this goose for a bottle of wine." - Nicholas Locke
- "And that is why we need to get off the Raccoon Standard! Goose Standard is the way of the future!" - Nicholas Locke
- "One of my favorites. He understands the value of small animal helpers." - Agatha Palmerstone
- "What new amusement have you brought me today, nephew?" - Pythia
- "That's why they call it a Spicy Wednesday." - Nicholas Locke
- "My favorite year is the year before he was born." - Orion
- "While I am more comfortable, of course, in the company of people who say what they mean, I have met a great many irreverent malefactors in my time, people who delight in saying the taboo and making jests of others' tragedies. It grows easier to ignore them when you learn to recognize them." - Mace